work..

2011
i am stepping into this society
it is not a easy job for me
new life start
i can't reject
i just can accept and fight it
every year
For me
it is a new challenging
i love challenging when i was studying
i scare challenging now

2010
i am graduated
secondary life end in that year
i regretted i did not cherish the time in school with my classmate
i regretted i always stay in home and be a house girl
In my secondary life, i love st john more than everything
Form 5 ..i just staring love my classmate and the class
luckily..it is not late for me

work two days edi
actually i used to it
but i prefer office working is a early shift for me
but have to wait someone to send me home
so!!!
10.30pm just reach home
7.30am left home!!
what's a tired life

Now i totally realize
money is hard to earn
easy to spend
i CAN spend my money in few seconds and without thinking properly
i MUST earn my money in long hours and thinking properly in my work

what's a big different????!!
why? is it called life??

i should enjoy, right?
i should work hard, right?
i tell myself
i cannot be a useless people
i must be a useful people
i cannot waste my time
i must spend my time properly


after working
reach home..i am tired edi
i am worrying about after that life
i want to live in singapore for studying in poly
nursing sponsorship i must get it
not try to get it
is MUST get it!

haiz

i hate my dad..since he dumped me
he is not suitable be a father
he did not get a responsible to take care me and sister
he never give me maintenance
i have to depend on my mother
haiz
bitter disappointed ..
i told him i want to study in Singapore
he said " go loh, pay fee yourself.. go and work part time.."
i just said " ohoh"

same
my mum and sis asked me to get allowance from singapore hospital
they wont give me any maintenance
many people told me , they wont be so cruel and wont give me
Wrong!! totally wrong
they asked me find part time work in Sat & Sun
They never think why i dont want to work when i study
they never think what shift what day i will train in hospital
they only know how to say say say say
just now my sis said me again
said about renting for room in Sg
ask me to find myself
everything everything everything
i have to do myself
is it freedom???
sometimes i told them about the situation
they just said " you grow up edi, check and find yourself..dont ask us"

Example,
Finding a guarantor for my nursing scholarship before
they asked me to settle myself
everyone have their parents to think and solve it
me???????? think myself
who can know my situation??
who know??
who know??

They are good actually..
but..haiz
i dont know..

My heart is tired
I will not allow this life in my future life
In this home
No one understand me
told them and let them know = beat the air